I've always associated 'romance' books with the Catherine Cookson books my nan used to read in front of the TV, or the books I skim past in the 'free eBook' section of Kobo. As a queer woman, most heterosexual romance stories don't appeal, and even the queer romance I read tends to cross over with other genres. If I want romance, I usually read fanfiction, which is free and about pairings I care about.
But, the modern romance market is currently packed with self-aware, interesting titles, and one of them is this book: Love in the Time of Serial Killers (Alicia Thompson). I'm trying to be more open and less judgemental about my own reading, so I was willing to give it a go, especially since I am a millennial woman and therefore have a subscription to every true crime channel available to me.
Phoebe's having a hard time, and not in a cute romance book 'I got locked out in my pyjamas and my boss was a jerk to me!' way. In a 'my dad just died, I have to clean out his hoarder house so that it can be sold to cover his debts, I'm grieving but also processing how unhappy our relationship was, I'm also trying to connect with my baby brother who I barely know, I have no real friends, and I'm in the end stages of my PhD' way.
She's isolated and brittle, a feral cat that trusts no one and flees from affection. She's not looking for love, and when her meet-cute moment comes it's on her driveway at 2am and she's so alarmed that she drops and smashes her phone. Sam ('comma, Son of' as she mentally adds) is her neighbour; an extremely ordinary music teacher who goes around being well-adjusted and nice at her. The monster.
Phoebe doesn't *really* think he's a serial killer, it's just that suspecting people of being potential serial killers is more-or-less her worldview. If distrusting people was an Olympic sport, she'd be a champion several times over. That view starts to shake as more and more opportunities to put down roots arise.
She grows closer to her brother (engaged on a charming quest to propose to his girlfriend in a worthy-enough way), re-connects with a childhood BFF, comes into possession of a cat, and embarks of the first shaky steps towards a relationship. But she isn't sticking around for long, so is it even worth bothering?
I haven't heard much about this book, except one person mentioning that 'it's not really a romance' and an Audible review calling the main character 'horrendous' and 'unlikeable'. That's an unfair criticism for a book that is far more focused on character development than your average romance (and yes I have read some). This isn't a will-they-won't-they but a will-she-figure-herself-out story.
Phoebe is made up of contradictions - and she has an all-or-nothing personality. Her early interactions with Sam manage to be cringe but also funny (her presenting him with half a pie as a thank you, because a whole pie means 'she made him a pie' actually made me laugh out loud).
Frankly, considering the pressure she's under, she's doing well. The book doesn't ignore grief and the complications when the person you're grieving wasn't what they should have been. Her brother is seven years younger and lived apart from her, and her mother isn't emotionally available. And I've not done a PhD but I imagine it's somewhat stressful at the thesis writing stage - without even having to renovate a house at the same time.
The characters also talk and act like real people. There's no cutesy reference to The Simpsons to show how *into* pop-culture Phoebe is - instead her brother just quotes a random line (from Bart of Darkness) and she understands the reference because she's a thirty year old woman. She compares herself to Wednesday Addams at Camp Chippewa, reads fanfiction as a teenager, complains about JK Rowling being a TERF, and there are gifs with her messages. She's not implied to be a 'nerd' for it, even a 'Hollywood nerd' - her true nerd moments are when she's talking about story structure and POV in non-fiction crime books.
This is also the first book I've read where the character is fat, and fine with it. Her body is just that - sometimes it annoys her (clothes shopping for blazers) and sometimes she's thrilled with how good her tits look. It's just a body she exists in, and she's not made out to be either unusually attractive or beautiful-but-she-doesn't-know-it. It was refreshing for a female character to care about her appearance an average amount.
Going back to the comment about it 'not being a real romance'... I think that person meant that it's far more focused on character than a standard romance. It's more Phoebe's story than Phoebe-and-Sam's. I was as invested in her re-friending her old bestie and staying near her brother as I was in her love story. I just wanted good things for her full stop.
As someone who got through grieving my (much loved, but not perfect) dad by falling into a true crime hole, and as someone who struggles with isolation and putting down roots, parts of this cut a little too close. There's a moment when Phoebe describes her childhood self getting a compliment on her necklace, loudly announcing that it only cost $5, and snapping it in half to prove it. It's the kind of cringe-y story that we can all understand on a soul level.
Who doesn't want that dumb kid to get her happy ending?
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