In case you missed the marketing juggernaut, Tim Burton's take on Wednesday Addams was released on Netflix last week. I was thrilled - as a lover of the original series, the 1990s films, and even the recent cartoons, I enjoy literally any version of the Addams Family.
(Except the Tim Curry movie. I'm kooky, not insane.)
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So here are four titles I think might bring a - small, wicked - smile to Wednesday's face.
My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix
Wednesday's schooling is the source of numerous storylines throughout The Addams Family history. The potential for her to unleash chaos on the blandest of highschoolers is too delicious to pass up.
However, she can sit this one out, because in My Best Friend's Exorcism, a demon does it for her.
This story begins in a way that would give any member of the Addams clan nightmares - an upper-middle class, ET-themed, roller-rink birthday party. There, terminally unpopular Abby meets her BFF Gretchen and the two of them live an almost ideal 80s teen life, dancing to Madonna and gossiping on their Mickey Mouse telephones.
This community definitely sends its kids to Camp Chippewa - they are white, Christian, and uber-wealthy, and so the horrors in their lives are more or less ignored in favour of a glossy, respectful surface. The book takes aim at the hypocrisy of the 80s drug panic and 'purity' culture with the same relish as Wednesday taking down a Thanksgiving play.
When Abby, Gretchen and their two friends experiment with LSD, something goes wrong. Gretchen gets lost in the woods and when she is found she's somehow different. Over the next few days she slides downhill, refusing to bathe, or sleep.
And then, one day, Gretchen shows up changed. She's perfect. She's popular. She's Jennifer in Jennifer's Body. The book doesn't pull any punches with it's horror - tapeworms, suicide attempts and dead foetuses all feature in Gretchen's 'pranks'. There's plenty of stomach-churning moments during the possession too - never-ending periods, eating rotting fruit, and birds falling out of the sky.
Wednesday may think that this is a vast improvement on Gretchen's former self, but Abby does not. She embarks on an exorcism that will test their friendship to its limit.
White Trash Warlock by David R Slayton
This one leans more to fantasy than horror, but it's definitely a story about what is and is not 'normal' and how people react when you can't meet their expectations of it.
Adam Binder grew up in a trailer park. His abusive dad is dead and he's not close to his mom. His brother Robert is now a wealthy doctor and eager to leave his past behind.
His brother also put Adam in a mental hospital when Adam turned out to be a) magical and b) gay. Wednesday might consider that a charming holiday, but Adam only survives by escaping into magical realms.
Years later, Adam is fine with his trailer trash lifestyle and has made peace with his magic and sexuality. So when he get's a call from his brother who thinks magic is doing something terrible to his wife, Adam only agrees to go reluctantly.
What follows is a story of acceptance on both their parts, and a dark, cosmic horror overshadowing Robert's perfect life.
The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor
If Wednesday hasn't listened to Welcome to Night Vale, she should. It was to early fiction podcasts what Serial was to true crime ones.
For those unfamiliar, WTNV follows a radio show in the desert-town on Night Vale. There Cecil, the presenter, reads out the cosmically strange, King-ian horror that occurs... without the slightest sense that these aren't completely normal events that happen in a completely normal town. Secret police, angels, mysterious lights, tentacled monsters... one imagines the Addams clan have a holiday home there.
The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home is one of the horrors that gets mentioned several times. This tie-in book tells her story, but you don't need to know anything about WTNV to understand it.
The story cuts between the Old Woman's past and her current activity - which is making her housemate miserable. She sends his dates pictures of dead animals, slashes his tires, cancels subscriptions, leaves pictures of corpses on his work computer, etc. But she has a goal - to make him a better person.
The majority of the story covers her history, from her Italian upbringing in the 1800s, through family tragedy, piracy, and a bloodthirsty quest for revenge. The majority of this book is a fun piracy/con-artist story that brings The Lies of Locke Lamora to mind, intercut with modern horror.
Eventually her past merges with the terrifying present, and we discover that fixing her house-mate's life isn't the only thing she's planning.
I think she and Wednesday would get on well.
Gil's All Fright Diner by A. Lee Martinez
A vampire and a werewolf stop off at a diner. They are attacked by zombies. If that opening isn't enough to get you (and Wednesday) on board, I'm not sure what else I can say.
If I said that vampire Earl and werewolf Duke could be played by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, that should give you an idea of sort of supernatural beings they are. They're just some dudes, a bit gross, a bit horny. They move from town to town aimlessly, looking for enough work to get by. They find it when Loretta, fed-up of the recent undead situation at her diner, pays them to figure it out.
There's lots to enjoy here - zombie cows, a cute ghost romance, and the world's greatest doggo - but it's the baddie that truly brings The Addams Family vibe.
Tammy (aka Mistress Lillith) is a wannabe sorceress, the local goth girl ready to make the world bow down at her feet. Unfortunately she's lumbered with caring parents, and her lame, easily-led boyfriend as her only minion. Her situation may be pathetic, but she is one-hundred percent serious and will dig up as many corpses as it takes to achieve her goals.
Wednesday would surely approve.
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